One of the great parts about being an adult is being able to call your own shots. Being half way across the country from your family and former responsibilities makes that even more crystal clear. However, even though I do make all my own decisions, I feel the need to address the kind of behavior that feels out of my control. In other words, a basic outline for “not cool” friend moves. If you want to stay friends with me, do not ever think of placing a guilt trip on me. I do not respond well to this kind of manipulation. Secondly, do not use public forums to “call me out.” You have my cell number, you have my email and you can DM me, so why don’t you? I personally don’t like airing all my dirty laundry for the world to see. You clearly want someone to get the wrong idea about me without knowing the full scope of the situation. As much as I am approachable, I do feel the need to retain some level of privacy. Lastly, do not ever think about inviting yourself. If I wanted you there, I would extend an invitation. It’s just rude to assume. Most of these seem to go without saying, but every now and then people surprise me. What’s even more surprising is that I look like the asshole for saying “you can’t come,” when you were wrong to ask in the first place.
I had a friend years ago whose behavior was extremely poisonous. It seemed no matter what I did, he found fault in it. He forced himself on me as his “best friend.” I never wanted this title. The whole basis for our friendship was him making me feel like I wasn’t a good friend when I never recall getting a choice in the matter. He would make up stories about his father dying or him dying, all to get a reaction out me. I don’t know about you, but those are not things I throw around lightly. Why would you ever use that if your friendship was genuine and true? At my age, I have zero tolerance for this. At your age, you ought to know people won’t put up with this. End rant.